Three times in two weeks, I did the same thing. 

I’d get excited telling someone about what I really wanted to do and then immediately explain why I wasn’t doing it. 

All the reasons. 

Each person listened politely but I could tell they weren’t convinced. By the third time, I didn’t believe myself either.

Then I happened to pick up a book.

When You’re Blocked 

Tim Ferriss mentioned The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron on a podcast, and it reminded me I bought it years ago. So I finally pulled it off the shelf.

She writes, “Most of the time, when we are blocked in an area of our life, it is because we feel safer that way.” 

I sat back, closed the book and thought about that line for 10 minutes.

She says it so casually but it explains exactly what was happening to me.

I was blocked because I was afraid. It’s as simple as that.

I was afraid to write about something outside the mainstream business concepts I usually cover because people might not approve.

It’s a humbling realization. I thought I was past that. After all, I’m supposed to be the expert.

And it’s not like I’ve never heard the concept before. It’s just that I didn’t realize I was blocked in the first place.

What usually happens is we think something’s just not possible, or we’re not ready, or we’re too busy.

In other words our reasons sound like facts. We even have evidence that justifies them. That’s what I was doing.

How do you know when you’re doing it too?

The signal to watch for is a yearning that doesn’t go away. Repeatedly wanting to do something and putting it off. Daydreaming about it, talking about it, but not doing it.

It’s Not Procrastination

Some people call it procrastination, but it’s more than that.

We don’t get blocked by the action itself, we get blocked by the risk to our identity that we’re attaching to the action.

It might not look that way.

It can seem like you’re worried about big obligations or potential loss of revenue. 

– the higher price you want to charge but don’t

– the responsibility you want to delegate but keep

– the book or podcast you want to create but stall

– the new product or service you want to offer but haven’t

But trace it back.

If you charge more and they say no, you lose clients, the company shrinks, and you look like you overreached. 

If you delegate and they get it wrong, it reflects on you. If the book or product flops, people notice. 

Follow any of these threads to the end and you’ll find the same thing: fear of looking bad. Especially to people whose opinion matters to you.

In my case, writing had become a battle between authenticity and approval.

So I reached for my journal to get my thoughts out of my head.

I wrote for maybe 20 minutes. Afterward I saw the questions buried in what I’d written. I’m sharing them so you can use them too.

It’s All About the Questions

What am I afraid of?

What’s the price I’m paying for that fear?

What’s the worst that could happen?

What’s the best that could happen?

What’s most likely to happen?

How will I feel about myself afterward?

Here’s what I saw when I answered the questions:

Fear: being judged 

Price: inauthenticity, exhaustion from filtering

Worst: some unsubscribe

Best: some people feel it

Likely: some leave, some stay.

Afterward: I’ll feel congruent, courageous and free

That was enough to decide and I sent the newsletter out last week.

Inner Alignment > External Approval

Any time you say yes to yourself it’s an act of courage. It’s how you learn to trust yourself.

If you keep explaining why you haven’t done it, that’s the thing you secretly want to do.

The yearning is persistent for a reason. Some part of you is ready to stop playing it safe. 

Your job is to stand by your true self when fear starts negotiating.