When we feel stuck we think something’s wrong with us or we just need more willpower. That’s not what I believe. There’s nothing wrong with you and you wouldn’t have a business in the first place if you didn’t have willpower.

For example, you know you need to raise your prices. Your costs increase, but your rates haven’t changed in years. Still you hesitate. You worry clients will walk. You feel stuck. 

This is resistance. It looks like procrastination or self-sabotage, but it’s not. It’s your subconscious trying to protect you by resisting forward motion. There are 3 reasons it does this:

1. You don’t actually want it.
2. The path looks painful. 
3. It clashes with your self-concept.

#1: You Don’t Actually Want It

This one is easy to spot once you look for it, but hard to admit: you don’t really want the goal. It’s a “should” borrowed from someone else’s playbook: friends, family, your feed, the latest business book.

I learned this in my first company. People I respected, including a big client, urged me to start an analytics school. There was demand. It would generate revenue. It would help clients. So I outlined it, then set it aside. Picked it up, put it down again. For a year.

All it took was thirty minutes in a relaxed state as the Observer, and I was unstuck. I asked, “Why do I want this?” I listed all the reasons I “should” want it. Then I wrote what I would need to give up to do it. Because every yes is a no to something else.

My focus was productizing our services to create a sellable asset so I could exit. An academy would dilute that focus and take resources I needed in other areas. It was a good idea, just not my idea. So I stopped blaming myself for stalling and freed myself to focus on what I did want. 

The Practice:
1. Observer journaling: Write the goal down. Ask, “Where did this idea come from?” Then, “Why do I want it?” Then list what you would have to give up. Now what do you notice? 

2. Invisible trophy test: “If no one would ever know I achieved this, would I still want it?” If the answer is no, let it go.

#2: The Path Looks Painful

You do want the outcome, but the way you picture getting there looks painful or dangerous, so your brain chooses safety. For example, you want to raise rates. But you imagine pushback, competitors swooping in, losing key accounts, scrambling to replace revenue. So you push it to next quarter. Then the next. Three years go by.

The problem isn’t the goal. It’s that fear has collapsed your options and you see only two paths: stay the same, or lose clients. Both look painful. When we’re afraid, awareness narrows. It’s an evolutionary response. You literally can’t see other options. Widen your awareness, and more paths will appear. 

The Practice: 

Acknowledge the fear. Let it move through you. Breathe slowly until it softens. Then ask: “What are 5 other ways to think about this and 5 new ways to get there?” Don’t judge them at first. Prove to your brain there are more moves. 

#3: It Clashes With Your Self-Concept

This one is subtle and powerful. The goal or the process doesn’t align with who you believe you are.
Who you’re being drives what you do. If the action requires you to become someone different, your subconscious will resist.

If you see yourself as “the person who does it all,” you won’t bring in operations support, even though you need it. Because underneath, if you’re not “the person who does it all,” then who are you?

The Practice: 

Ask, “What identity am I protecting by not moving forward?” No judgment. Just curiosity. Then ask, “Who would I be if I let that go? What opens up?” 

Ask 3 Questions:

1. Do I actually want this? 

2. Does the path feel good? 

3. Who do I choose to be? 

Treat resistance as information, not an enemy. Once you see the pattern, you can move through it. In this week’s video, I walk through more ways resistance surfaces for founders and what to do about each one.