“Just do your best” is terrible advice for perfectionists. Because we know there’s always more we can do: more thinking, more effort, more precision.

On any given day I had a long mental list of what more I could do about everything. It made me doubt myself and drove me to the brink of burnout.

Even when I did think I’d done my best, if new information surfaced later, I’d blame myself for not knowing about it. 

Like sending a proposal with competitive pricing, only to learn weeks later that a competitor undercut me by 20%. 

It didn’t matter that their price was unsustainable. I still spiraled. I should have added more case studies. I should have made the ROI more clear. 

I also developed the bad habit of looking for what was wrong, missing, or not good enough. Not just in my work, but in everyone’s.

Finding mistakes can feel weirdly satisfying. Not because we enjoy what’s wrong, but because the brain reads it as a sign of competence and control: risk found and risk reduced.

But when you train yourself to spot problems, problems are all you see.

Diminishing Returns

I remember flying back exhausted after speaking at a big conference, and realizing I still had a proposal to review. I told myself it would be simple, even though it was long. I sat down thinking I’d make a few edits and go to bed.

But once I started reading, I could see it wasn’t a few edits. It was the whole thing. Either my team missed the mark, or I hadn’t explained it clearly, but the point is it needed a rewrite.

With my stomach sinking and my heart pounding, I ordered a pizza and started frantically revising. 

As the hours passed, it wasn’t getting any easier. I was getting more anxious. I kept looking at the clock, and every time I looked, I felt worse.

I reached the breaking point, not because of the proposal, but because I couldn’t reconcile the impossible truth: there would always be more I could do. 

No matter when I stopped, I could’ve done more. And if “more” was always possible, how would I ever know I’d done enough?

I finally went to bed. And two days later, with sleep and perspective, I could see the obvious: my “best” after midnight was not my “best” on a normal day. 

I began to question the belief that if I could do more, I should do more.

What does “do your best” mean?

It means doing no more and no less than your best. 

Doing more than your best leads to resentment and exhaustion. Doing less than your best leads to guilt and regret.

Years later, when I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, I finally had language for what I’d discovered: your best is contextual.

If you have a meeting but you don’t feel well and a key employee just quit, doing your best looks different than when you’re focused and resourced.

If you’re tired and hungry, doing your best will look different than if you’re well rested and fed.

And if you have to make an important decision with partial information, your best might be different than if you had the benefit of the full picture ahead of time.

I’ve stopped pretending there’s some superhuman version of me who can override biology, psychology, and context.

A Different Standard

So how do I know when I’m doing my best?

By how I feel.

When I’m stressed and anxious I’m not doing my best. I fixate on details, overwork, and lose strategic thinking.

When I’m calm and present, I’m doing my best. I see what matters, prioritize, and make better decisions.

At first it wasn’t comfortable to rely on how I feel. I didn’t believe it was ok to tell myself I’d done my best if I still had energy in the tank. 

I wasn’t in the habit of considering other variables, like my health, my family, my enjoyment of the work and my staying power.

But sacrificing yourself doesn’t make you more worthy of success. It just makes you tired.

I didn’t see the price I was paying for doing more than my best: it compromised my strategic thinking, reduced our ability to scale, made the company dependent on me and worst of all led me to resent my business and try to escape from it.

The answer to “Could this be better?” will always be yes. It’s the wrong question.

The right question is: “Have I done my best with what I have right now?” That question has an answer. And you’ll find it in your body, not your brain.

Do your best with the energy and information you have today. Then stop. 

Done is a decision, not a feeling.