Founders don’t come to me and say, “Debbie, I have so much energy it’s unbelievable! I feel so relaxed and clear about what to do. I see how I was holding myself back, and I know everything I want is possible.”

They don’t say that because that’s not how most founders feel. What I hear instead is some version of: “I’m tired. I’m pushing. I’m doing everything I know to do, and it’s still not enough.”

Doing is what we lean on when we don’t trust who we are. It’s an attempt to generate a state instead of expressing one. It comes from the belief: if I do more, I’ll be more.

For most of my life, I didn’t understand this. I worked hard, over-prepared, and tried to be the smartest person in the room. I was trying to solve my inner insecurity with external effort.

A client from my first business helped me see this pattern. I didn’t love hearing what he had to say, but I needed to. The hyper-vigilant, tense version of me set the frequency for everyone around me.

If you feel stuck, it’s not because you need more information. It’s because you’re trying to create new results without changing your self-concept first. 

Doing vs. Being

Your self-concept is the architect of who you are. And that self-concept is just a collection of beliefs, many of which you didn’t consciously choose. 

The way out isn’t pushing harder. The first step is to become the Observer of your Self. 

When you’re the Observer, you can see beliefs for what they are: learned patterns, not absolute truths. Anything learned can be unlearned. Anything created can be re-created.

That’s why the self-concept is such a powerful lever. When you update your beliefs about who you are, your actions begin to flow in a new direction. 

You don’t have to force it. 

The doing flows from the being.

If you identify as a runner, you naturally run.

If you identify as a leader, you lead.

You already know this intuitively. You can’t build the next version of your business or your life with the consciousness that built the current one.

There’s nothing wrong with you. There never was.

You just need to decide who you will be in this life.

If you’re not getting the results you want, here are a few questions to ask.

1. What outcomes keep eluding you despite more effort? 

2. What version of yourself have you outgrown?

3. What does your future self believe?