No one saw the part of my analytics business that happened after hours. 

Deadlines in danger. Deliverables with gaps. Proposals mispriced.

But I could see these problems and their consequences: 

The annoyed customer, the request for a credit, the decision to use another company next time.

So I fixed things. Not once in a while but as a way of running the company.

Crises averted and everyone was happy, except that one of us was up past midnight.

The Rabbit

The work did need fixing. The deadlines were real. It just didn’t have to be me doing it.

I rarely went back to the team to explain what I’d changed and why. I didn’t think I had the time.

When I did consider having the conversation, I’d think maybe I hadn’t explained it well, or they had too many other priorities, or I’d hired the wrong person. 

It was my company. If I caused the problem, I should fix it.

Besides, in a weird way, fixing things myself made me feel important. 

It proved I could still do the detailed work, and it was exciting to pull the rabbit out of the hat.

No Time

I thought I didn’t have time, but I was still spending it.

Up front, it could have gone into training, systems, and processes. Instead, I kept spending time afterward, correcting the work.

After years of this, I was at the breaking point.

Most founders dream about being able to sell their business and walk away. The problem is our desire to do it is strongest right when we’re most exhausted.

And that’s exactly the wrong time, because no one wants to buy our problem child.

The Questions

When I wanted to exit, my advisors asked who reviewed the work, who priced the proposals, and what happened if I was gone for a month.

Each answer revealed how much depended on me. 

We were profitable and respected, but the quality I was so proud of was a function of my heroics, not a repeatable system a buyer could operate.

I’d spent my energy making sure no one could see the holes in my business. 

Now they were the first thing the buyers were looking for. 

I was able to sell my company, but first I had to build the training and systems I’d never had time for, at the point when I had the least energy to give them.

What I See Now

I was good at noticing what was happening with the work. I was much less aware of what was happening inside me.

I didn’t step back far enough to observe the thoughts driving my actions.

“I don’t have time” seemed like a fact. So did “I have to do it myself.”

Because I believed those thoughts were true, I kept feeling stressed and fixing the work. 

Instead, I could have questioned why every mistake felt so personal, had the team conversations I’d been avoiding, and let other people take responsibility for outcomes.

The problems I kept fixing were opportunities to build a stronger business and become a better leader. 

But I was moving too fast to learn from them.

I thought I’d lead differently once the problems stopped.

But they were never going to stop until I did.