Some founders learn to manage teams and end up loving it. Others don’t.
I didn’t realize which one I was for years. I just thought something was wrong with me.
Most service businesses are started by people with expertise. That was me and probably you, too.
When you know how to do something well, your energy naturally vibrates at the frequency of the solution. You’re coherent.
People feel it.
But as your business grows, your specific expertise is not the only skill you need.
You have to hire, manage, and motivate a team. You have to understand cash flow, pricing, and teach other people to sell.
You get to do less of what you know and love and more of what you don’t.
Instead of closing deals and designing solutions, you’re doing performance reviews, forecasts, and org charts.
The Expert
What I’ve noticed is that the more of an expert we are, the harder this process feels.
We don’t want to turn over to other people the things we do so well.
It takes time to train them and they make mistakes in the beginning.
Besides, we enjoy being the expert. It feels good to be respected and admired for our abilities.
When I started my analytics business I felt very sure I could help any client with their core data and technical problems.
I’d personally solved variations of these problems many times.
But I didn’t know how to hire and manage other people.
Once I started hiring, I made a lot of mistakes. When I tried to teach the team my process, I’d start out high energy but be drained and exhausted by the end of the day.
I’d overwhelm them with detail and although I tried to hide my impatience, they could feel it. Every time a deliverable came back wrong, it cost me time and money.
The quality of my energy changed. Instead of vibrating with the energy of the solution, I started emitting stress and doubt.
My team could feel it.
Clients could feel it.
I could feel it.
I had to come to terms with the fact that being an expert was not the same thing as owning a business that delivered excellence.
The expert is like a master artist who takes as much time as they want. They delight in the craft as an expression of self.
The founder of a scalable business balances time, money, and quality. They build systems, evaluate results, and coach others.
It’s a completely different experience.
I had to change my definition of success so that it was not about my personal skill and heroics. Instead, it was about our systems, team and results.
I didn’t find this an easy transition.
Much of my self-esteem came from my individual achievements and I struggled for years trying to manage the team instead of doing the work myself.
I found it difficult to let go of control. I worried all the time about money and reputation. It felt like mistakes by the team cost me both.
In the end, I was very unhappy in my own business. I wasn’t doing what I loved and had moved far from my zone of genius.
Discontent is the Signal
I didn’t realize back then the value of discontent. It feels like stress, anxiety, or frustration but it’s really our inner voice saying:
“Not this.”
Now when I feel it, I start asking questions:
- What do I want?
- Why do I want it?
I have to go through a few iterations to find out what I really want. Usually the first thing that comes out is what I don’t want.
Back then, what I didn’t want was to manage people. Truthfully, I still don’t want to.
What I did want was to grow my business.
Why? So I could have more money and freedom.
Why? So that I could do what I want and have what I want.
Why? So that I could feel good about myself.
And why that?
So that I’d feel worthy of love.
Almost any version of these questions ends up with a similar answer if you ask why long enough.
The thing I know now that I didn’t know then: self-worth is an inside job. You intentionally decide that you’re doing the best you can given your current situation and state of mind.
When you do that, you can love yourself as a work in progress, no matter what’s happening in your business or your life.
The Willingness Test
You can know what you want, but not be willing to do what it takes to get it. I wasted years chasing something I thought I wanted, but deep down didn’t.
To grow my business, I had to be willing to go slow at first in order to go fast later.
I had to commit to a cadence for evaluating results.
I had to spend time onboarding and mentoring.
I had to accept that there would be mistakes.
I said that I was willing to do these things, but my actions showed something different.
Over time, the answer to “What do I want?” changed.
What I really wanted was freedom. In my case, the kind of freedom that came from having someone else manage the team so that I could do the work I loved: vision and strategy.
When I finally accepted that managing the team wasn’t my strength and that there was no shame in it, I hired a COO to do it.
I didn’t have to hire and onboard everyone, just the right leader. It still took me three tries, but that’s a story for another day.
We’re here to evolve, express our unique abilities, and help others. You do all three best when you’re true to yourself, even when it’s inconvenient. Especially then.
When you start noticing recurring stress, anxiety, or frustration, treat it as a signal. On the other side of it is what you want.
Take 10 minutes and write this at the top of a page:
What do I want?
Why do I want it?
Keep asking why until you hit the real answer.
This is your life. You get to choose.
