Your winning strategy is holding you back.
It was created at a young age as a coping mechanism for survival.
Every time it works, it reinforces your belief you should keep using it.
When it doesn’t work, you think you just didn’t do it right, so you double down.
But what if your success is in spite of your winning strategy not because of it?
As children, when our needs aren’t met, we don’t understand why.
We come up with primitive strategies to deal with the reality that we’re not the center of the universe.
Your winning strategy was created in answer to this question: “What do I need to do in order to feel safe and loved?”
You may decide you can’t count on other people and have to do everything yourself.
Or you may believe the solution is to be perfect so you’ll get more attention.
Or you decide to do everything possible to make other people like you.
Your winning strategy worked well because it got you here. Acknowledge that.
There is nothing wrong with your old winning strategy when you look at it through the lens of your childhood.
But now it holds you back because your environment has completely changed. You are no longer a child.
A few of the most common winning strategies:
I have to know the answer.
I have to do it myself.
I have to be perfect.
I have to be liked.
Your brain looks at the world through the lens of “I have a winning strategy that works. Let me look for more places to use it.”
Even where it’s ineffective, you’ll apply it and get results you don’t want, like:
• You don’t hire people smarter than you.
• You don’t delegate effectively.
• You beat yourself up if you make a mistake.
• You don’t hold people accountable because you want them to like you.
The result is your current life is a fraction of what’s possible for you.
If all you have is a hammer, you look for nails.
You don’t have to abandon your old winning strategy completely.
Look for patterns in your life, where you’re reacting instead of responding. Where you feel frustrated or in a hurry.
Where you’re getting results you don’t want.
The next time you’re triggered, pause and ask yourself, “What would I usually do and what price am I’m paying for that approach?“
The key is to bring awareness to patterns that are operating in your subconscious.
So that you can intentionally choose the right strategy for the situation with your adult brain.