Blame leads us to think something outside of us is causing our experience.
It robs us of personal power.
When we blame our customers, our team, or our sales, we give our power away to an outside circumstance, and we feel stuck.
We’re not taking responsibility for what we think, how we feel, and what we do.
Turn it around with this formula:
X is really the problem, and Y is how to solve it. Both X and Y are things I control.
It’s not the customer who’s the problem. It’s the way we wrote the contract. We’ll revise it.
It’s not the employee who’s the problem. It’s our hiring or our training process. We’ll modify it.
It’s not the economy that’s the problem. It’s the way we communicate our value. We’ll change it.
Bring it back to what you can control: what you think, how you feel, and what you’ll do next.
You’ll feel better, you’ll save time, and you’ll change the outcome.
In every situation, look for the ways you are responsible. Think of it as “able to respond.” This does 3 things:
1. Takes your mind off the problem and puts it on the solution
2. Prevents you from blaming other people or external events for your results
3. Activates your brain to create new neural pathways
When you think situations are outside of your control, it’s easy to feel frustrated or trapped.
When you bring it back to YOU, there’s always a solution.